I Miss My Grand-Children During Covid-19

Masks
Safety Outfit

“Are you going to at least get out of the car?” Jessica, my 32 year old daughter, was sitting in her white SUV with the AC running and the window down. 

“You know I run around with my friends some.” She had a one bedroom apartment right next to her lifelong friend. She had to work and visit customers. Even though she maintained her distance and always wore a mask she was worried. 

“I wish I could give you a hug like we used to. I know this will end but I’m getting tired of it.” My 67 years had not prepared me for this. 

“I would feel really bad if you got it and we hadn’t been careful. I might never forgive myself.” She was voicing what we both knew to be true. 

In this age of Covid-19 virus everything had changed. Many people just ignored it and were spreading it around. We had been warned by the scientists and doctors but many just didn’t care. I was glad Jessica did. 

I sat down on the grass and she stayed in her SUV. We talked about all of the normal things going on in our lives and 15 minutes later we gave each other a Covid hug. A Covid hug was where you each reached your arms out like you were wrapping them around each other… with ten feet of air between you. 

The pandemic had messed up family life. It seems like seniors were found to be dispensable and dying at an alarming rate. I was glad I was not in a nursing or senior home because they were seeing stunning amounts of death. Jessica and her friends were supporting me and my fears. 

So just how do you see your children safely? We all have seen the pictures of seniors locked up in their senior home looking out the windows at their children. That is one way of having a Covid meetup.

The CDC have guidelines they approve. The CDC says if you are outside with a mask on and stay at least six feet away you should be alright. They have also added that you should keep the meetup to under 30 minutes. Strange but definitely something you can do. 

!. Stay outside. 

2. Wear a mask. 

3. Stay at least six feet apart. 

4. Limit the meeting to less than 30 minutes. 

When Can I see My Grand Kids?

Grandparents Struggle to See Their Kids During Pandemic

Holiday Celebrations

“Everyone Forgets Things” – Memory Issues and Misguided Phrases

 

Tea on the Screen Porch
Tea on the Screen Porch

How to Give Comfort to a Caretaker

My brother was visiting my mother and I took the opportunity to go out for dinner with a close friend. During cocktails I mentioned that my mother was having more and more difficulty with her memory to which my friend replied “Everyone forgets things. I am always misplacing my car keys.” I felt completely alone as the air rushed out of me. He had just dismissed my observation as an over-reaction that was not something to be concerned with. I felt marginalized. Didn’t he realize that I wasn’t talking about normal memory lapses? If it was normal I wouldn’t have attempted to share what I was going through.

My friend’s reaction was well intended and he meant to provide advice when all I wanted to do was share a very real change in my mother that I was dealing with and have it acknowledged. Think of all the times we have had reflexive responses; ‘You will get another job’, ‘You were lucky. It could have been worse.’, or ‘Time heals all wounds’. In my case I have heard them all and they all made me stop sharing and feel really alone in my caretaking. I wanted someone to say ‘I understand, tell me more’ or ‘that must be very difficult to deal with’ to let me know they were there for me and knew the challenges I was wrestling with.  Remember, when someone is working with a problem and you want to support them, acknowledge and listen without providing unsolicited advice.

Memory and How to Maintain It

Memory loss is a real issue and manifests in many ways. One of the strange things about the aging memory is that the senior might remember events from 40 years ago in great detail and not know what they had for breakfast. This may make you believe that their memory is fine when careful monitoring is called for. Check to make sure that cooking surfaces and garden watering hoses are turned off. Keep your own record of their appointments and any regular medicines they must take. What did they eat for breakfast or dinner? There are many sites that can provide memory tests to help you know if there is anything that needs following.

The more engaged the brain is the healthier it will stay. Crossword and picture puzzles, reading, and stimulating conversation all help. I know a senior woman who follows the news avidly and loves to talk politics. Physical activity promotes blood flow to the brain to keep brain cells healthy so consider a 30 minute walk at least three times a week. Keep them involved in the community with relatives and friends for more mental stimulation. A senior is old but not incapable. Let them help with cleaning and cooking and continue to be a contributor to society. They will thank you for it.

Do This – Not That

9 Brain Boosters to Prevent Memory Loss

What’s Normal, What’s Not, and When to Seek Help

Do Memory Problems Always Mean Alzheimer’s Disease?